Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Stupid... Stupid....Stupid

I am so confused.
"Yes Noodles, Don't Noodles..."
Maybe I should just sleep on it.
Finish reading my 4 chapters and sleep.
Study, do math, sleep.
sleep.
Sleep.
Sleep.
That is what I need but I can't seem to get enough of it!
Why can't I get enough sleep!?
Even when I take naps I seem to wake up more tired then before!
I don't want to think about so many things.
I just want to sleep.
Read.
Draw. But i want my pictures to turn out right.
Play the piano.
Play my flute.
I want to be good.
I want to teach.
I want to serve.
I want to go to institute.
I want to not be tired!

Monday, October 26, 2009

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Mystery Men

I like dressing nicely. I do not like sitting in front of the tv all day.
Guess what I did today... it was bad.
I didn't wake up. I start work at 4 am. I was smart and set my alarm for 3 pm. I woke up at 6:30 and realized what I had done. smart one, Eaven.
I am reading Wuthering Heights. So far it is pretty good, but I am only on chapter 4.
I really hope I don't lose my job, because yesterday I did not go because I did not feel good.
It really is to early. I need to find another job. very badly. I can't wake up that early.
I wish I had enough money that I could just not work. I should try to get more money over the summer this year.
I wish the party on friday was not just relief society. I wish boys could come too.. because then I would invite a certain someone... :D I will give you a hint, it starts with a M.
Millie makes me laugh. She scolds me for not coming to ask her a question ( I texted it) when she is just in the other room, but she just texted me back and did not come tell me either. hehe. face.
I wrote an amazing beginning to a story. It is just a rough draft. So it is not as good as it could be, but still it is pretty good!
Henry pulled on Christien's laces, making them tight. She thanked him and proceeded to put on her riding slacks and boots, then helped him with his hair, which was never satisfactory to her when he did it.
He pulled her close to him and kissed her, then looked into her eyes. "Are you scared?"
"How could I be scared when I am with you?" she asked.
The clock tolled midnight. They grabbed the rest of their things and headed out the door. They were almost to the stables when Henry stopped.
"I forgot my sword!" he gasped.
"Well, lets go get it!"
"No, you get the horses ready, and I'll be back down in a minute."
"Don't be long!" they kissed again and she went to the horses and he ran up to their room. His sword was sittin gon his bed. He picked it up and buckled it on.
He opened the door to leave but stepped back. The queen, his mother in law was standing against the doorframe in her nightgown.
"You weren't thinking of leaving, were you?"
Henry clenched his fists at his sides.
"Yes, as a matter of fact we were going to do the jobs you are to blind to see." He pushed past her into the hall.
" I would not leave if I were you."
He sighed and turned around. "What are you going to do about it, Gurtrude?"
Christien ran up the stairs, "Henry! What is taking you so long?" she half whispered.
The queen smiled evily when she heard her daughter and snapped her fingers.
Guards sprang from the shadows grabbing Christien's arms and shoving her to the ground.
"Christien!" Henry jumped to help her but a guard tugged her head up by her hair and shoved a knife next to her throat.
"I would not do that if I were you," the queen said, walking in a circle around the spot he had stopped.
Christien and Henry kept eye contact, scanning each other, making sure the other was going to be alright. She had tears running down her face. Henry longed to whip them from her cheeks and hold her until she felt safe, but if he moved she would die.
"What do you want?" he said through gritted teeth, not trying to hide the hatred in his voice.
"My dear boy, I am the queen and will get what I want, and what I want is for you to let me run my kingdom, and not take my daughter away from me!"
Henry fumed, "You want me to let people suffer because you are to lazy to do anything? You want me to just stay in this castle for the rest of my life?"
The queen tisked, "Now now, son, I never said you had to stay here. Just my christien."
"She is my wife! I will not leave her!"
The queen walked up to his face. "You are under arrest for attempting to sabotage my rule, kidnapping the princess, and undermining my authority." she snapped her fingers again and the guards let chrstien go and grabbed Henry, punching him in the stomach. He doubled over grunting.
"Henry!" christien crawled over to him, holding his face. The guards pushed her away, she landed on the ground. They stood Henry up, and dragged him away to the dungeons.
He looked at Christien. She was kneeling on the floor reaching for him. they rounded a corner and he could not see her anymore.
Christien slumped to the floor crying into the cold stone. Her mother knelt down quietly next to her, drapping her arm over Christiens rounded back.
"Christien darling, it will be ok. He was not good for you anyw--"
Christien sat up shoving the queen's arm off of her, "Don't touch me, witch." she snarled. She stood and started walking away.
"Darling, you are confused! He was going to--"
"He was going to do nothing that was illegal! Henry is 10 times the ruler you could ever be!" She stalked toward her mother shaking a finger, stopping right in front of her. "You let him out right now."
"Or what?" the queen said, clamly looking into her daughter's eyes.
Christien gritted her teeth, "Or I will get him out myself and we will expose you for the witch you are."
The queen smiled, "My dear, you are mentaly exhaughsted. you will be confined to your room, guarded at all times."
Guards surrounded her. She pushed out of their way lunging at her mother. The guards grabbed her dragging her to her room.
"I hope you rot in hell!" She screamed as they pulled her away.
The queen sat on a chair and called the butler, "I would like to make an announcment to the people."

What do you think?
I love it. I don't know how it is going to end, but it is going to be awesome! I think the queen is going to be delusional and crazy, all at the same time.
Kinda like the secret window, only not like that. I saw that the other day, good movie! And one of M's favorites!
Is it obvious who I am talking about? I guess to some people it would be, but to others... maybe not.
I am going to watch V for Vendetta tomorrow with him. Darby is going to come too, and I think he invited some people. I feel like I should invite someone else, but I don't know who. I could invite Taylor... or maybe Darby would like it if I invited J--. I could do that.
Next semester I need to have my classes all together. I don't like have a 3 hour break in between my classes, it just makes me less likely to go to them!

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Bombarded by Amazingness

I think that sometimes we make ourselves miserable.
I am sick, right? And so what do I do? I stay up and watch movies that I have already seen 100 times! yeah smart I know!
I need to vacuum slower in the mornings. Today I was done with everything I was supposed to do around 7... I get to leave at the earliest 7:30. So I muddled around trying to find something to do. that was great, let me tell ya.
on the bright side, I found my colored pencils!
YAY! So Know I have some crappy ones that I pretend are amazing and some amazing ones that look... not to amazing, but actually are!
And I know my christmas present!!!! COLORED PENCILS! or art supplies.. take you pic. The expensive kind from art stores! I am so entirely to excited! I can't wait for christmas! Even if I will be miserable... ( I am getting my wisdom teeth out at christmas)
Soren, I miss you. I think that next time I come home ( probablly thanksgiving....) we should have a sleep over. Because that was awesome! And we totally came up with amazing idea's! That is what happens when you lay down and relax.. Your brain is bombarded by amazingness!

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Time for Bed

I am way tired.
I don't want to go to bed.
My family came today, it was so amazing!
I love my family.
I get to go home on wednesday... this is good!
I get my hair done on friday!
"dare you to move" switchfoot
amazing song
I am really happy I have a job, I just really wish it was not so early.
It would be amazing if it were even at 6.... that would be lovely.
and if we started at 4 when we are supposed to show up we could be done by 7 and we could all go home and sleep some more. I don't know why we don't just start sooner.
I really wish that I could just be able to sleep as much as I want. right now, I just want to sleep without changing or brushing my teeth or reading my scriptures, or climbing onto my bed, or getting under my covers. I just wish that I could fall asleep when I thought it. I just want to sleep....


Thursday, October 8, 2009

stupid stress and lack of sleep

I think I am sick.
My throat hurts, I am so tired and I feel like I should drop dead.
I have a job... from 4 am to 8 am monday through friday.
SO EARLY. just to let you know.
I have never been so glad for friday.
I was just fine this morning and yesterday morning, but then around 7:30 my throat started hurting.
I think I have strep.
I tried to go to the doctors office today, but they said I needed an appointment.
So I made one for tomorrow at 11:30. I hope that I don't have strep. I don't want it. I just want to be better.
I don't want to be sick....
well.. I should go to bed, I need extra sleep I guess.

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Joy

Do you know what happens when you decide that you can wait, that your life right now is amazing and does not need to be as different as you thought?
You can't fall asleep at night, because you are so excited for tomorrow.
Tomorrow will be a new day because you have decided to be content with your lot in life, because you have a new challenge to face, because even though you still want it, it is not at the top of your list anymore, it has a more convenient place toward the middle of your list, just waiting, patiently, for the proper time in your life.
This feeling of contentment, happiness, joy, and love, is the best feeling in the world. Nearly perfect, the only thing that could make it better would be being with my family right now. but I will have to settle with thinking about them.

This world is such a beautiful place. I keep getting distracted by the leaves on the trees, the sound of the wind struggling to push the trees to the ground. The cloudy sky seems more mysterious and majestic, like it is hiding a secret and with each fall of rain it reveals a clue as to what that secret is.
Why is it that people cannot believe there is a God when the evidence is everywhere, all around them! Every way I look I see something that God made, something he created. Everything bears witness of him and his great plan, yet some people stubbornly refuse to see that and try to pretend that they can just go on with their lives without help. I don't know how they do it, I can barely get through the morning without asking him for help in something.