A Step Forward Calls for Something New

July 28th, 2008 - Aug 12th, 2011
Three years of blogging.
Three years of venting.
Three years of struggling life.
Three years of remembering.
Three years of fun.
Three years of laughing.
Three years of crying.
Three years of running.
Three years of fan girlness.
Three years of sitting.
Three years of typing.

Here's to Three years well spent.

Moving to a new phase.
Moving to a new place.
Moving away.
Moving forward.
Moving.
Moving.
Moving.
Moving.
Moving on.

Continue to follow my life on my new blog.
A Step Forward Calls for Something New.

Drarwing!

Amazing Gesture Drawing Tool!
I have been using it a lot.
But I feel like it is not helping.
Then again I have only done it three times.
But I get to have 3 art classes this semester! That will be good!
the Phenomenon of Color, Intro to Life Drawing(figure drawing), Portrait drawing.
I am so excited!
All of those classes will be so much fun!
I hope I don't get overwhelmed with school and a fulltime job.
I don't know when I will find the time to do all of this!
Speaking of full time jobs... I need to fill out my application!
Time to do that!

Process

Eaven has been thinking lately.
"a Dangerous Past time!"
"I Know!"
but all the same. I know what I am going to do with my life right now, but as soon as I get over with this part, I really don't know. Am I going to move back? Am I going to go back to USU? Will I stay down there? Will I marry? Will I pay off my debt?
These thoughts sort of snuck up on me.
I was not ready for them.
But now they are here.
And now I am thinking about them.
*sigh*

thrice, three, san

Packing, Packing, Packing!
I love it when boxes are already packed and we only need to stack them in the garage!
"they're in the Gar-ra-ge!" hehe love the movie

Sherlock! What an amazing show! Only three episodes right now, watch it! Watch it! watch it!
there is not a new Young Justice yet. *sigh*
I love the wind, running, ice cream, sleeping, Percy Jackson, The Lost Hero (Son of Neptune this fall!), Harry Potter (which is going to end... again!), my family, my friends, my life, and ... pretty much everything!

I love Percy Jackson.

And I love Jason Grace.

Pretty much anything Percy I love. 

Have you read any of the 5 Percy Jackson and the Olympian books? Or the Hero's of Olympus (right now there is only one)?

If not.... What are you reading this for!? Go read them now!

untitled

Moving...

On my own
with no one else beside me

the Lost Hero

Forbidden truth

Hidden meanings

confusion of feelings
of thoughts
of meanings

indecision.

FINALS ARE ALMOST DONE!

Well after this week I can finally start putting my teaching idea's on my Pre-Teaching blog! I have been waiting for this!
Also, I am going to start putting my pictures up on my tumbler, so you can look there. I have quite a few pictures that I have not put on to the computer. I should do that.
I can't think of much to put on here right now, other than FINALS ARE ALMOST DONE!

Uncertainty

What would I do if everything I knew, suddenly changed?
Would I step up and finally do everything I know I should be doing? would I sit down and cry?
There is a feeling in the pit of my stomach, a knot of anxiety. This is not at all the comfortable feeling of peace I wish for, but then again it is nothing at all like the fear and hatred I feel toward myself when I do something I know I should not. It is just fear.
"Be still, and know that I am God."  - Psalms 48:10
God always has a plan for me. He will watch out for me. I will believe on him. I will trust him.

It's a Wonderful World

There are many things to be grateful for and I would like to name a few of them.
*hem hem*
1. Finishing Homework.
What a wonderful feeling to finish something that has taken so long! I love turning it in(even if I don't like doing it) and then being done!
2. Having the Power go Out.
Today the power went out in all of my county. Two of my brothers were bored out of their minds and as soon as the power came back on, up the stairs they went to the PS3. But my youngest brother was outside, like he is, and would rather be every moment of his life. We rely... I rely so much on technology. What would I do if I didn't have electricity? I would be able to do many things, but others... like making bread or creating a shelter, felling tree's (ok, I probably wouldn't have to do those things, but hey! you never know!) I think our society has forgotten what is is like to rely on the land for survival, and I do not think this is a good thing.
3. Friends
What a fantabulistic invention! Who knew we would need people to get us through Stats? or to come over on a whim just to talk or hang out? Oh right! That would be Heavenly Father! Which leads me to my next grateful comment....
4. The Gospel of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.
I am so glad I know that I will be able to live with my family forever in the Celestial Kingdom with my Heavenly Father, and my brother Jesus. I am so grateful to know that, when I find him, I will be able to be sealed to my Husband for time and all eternity. I am grateful to know that death is not the end. I will see my loved ones again.
But most of all... I am so incredibly grateful that God always has a plan for me. He knows what is best for me, and will always give me what will help me grow.

p.s. what book is my second line from?

"You gonna Wash your hands?" "No Cause I'm Evil."

My recent love. The Flash. 

Wish I could be Iris.... but unfortunately I am not. 

I was recently asked how my love life was going and if I  was interested in anyone. My reply?

"Superboy, Flash, Robin... No one real though."

My mom seems to think that I can't tell the difference between fantasy and reality. (personally fantasy is much more exciting....) Unfortunately I do the difference. I know very well. But I find it easier to cope with reality when I have fantasy to fall back on. 

The Flash... Oh how I love him.
I love this song as well. Though it does make me a little sad when I listen to it a bunch. (which does happen quite often)


I have an acquaintance who committed suicide. They were found by two members of their family. How horrible that would be. It is bad enough when death strikes on it's own, but when a person helps it along? I don't know what I would do if someone I knew really well did that... What would  you do?

Back to a happier subject... I bought myself a Flash shirt and wear it when I run. :) What a happy way to run!

Maybe I should spend more time in reality... I do have all summer to fantasize...

But no. that would be no fun at all!

Who would your favorite superhero (of the moment) be?

can you guess mine? (there is an alltime champ, and there is the hero of the moment. Kudos for those who get both!)

Weeks of Miracles

Well I guess I should elaborate on my dad's accident. Or rather incident, as there are no accidents.
He was on a motorcycle ride with his friends, they had been gone all day.
Outside of Delta, they were on a mountain road, curving up the mountain.
His friends were a curve ahead when the realized my dad was not with them.
They turned around to find my dad sprawled out on the ground.
He told them he had been turning left, following the curve of the road, when a huge gust of wind came from the left and lifted his bike up in the air, with him still on it.
He remembers seeing a mile marker before he hit the ground.
His right light hit the mile marker, fracturing both the bones in his lower leg. He broke 6 vertebra (nothing that will impare him though), and 3 ribs.
a week and a half in the hospital with two surgeries.
The thing about the surgeries is a miracle.
After the first surgery the doctor told us that he set the bone perfectly, but there was not enough skin on his leg to cover it. Without the skin the bone could not heal properly. So they were going to have to do at least 3 more surgeries.
But a miracle happened.
The second surgery was to inspect the wound without the swelling that was present during the first one, and to remove any more dead or dying skin on the wound. But as it turns out there was no more dead or dying skin on his leg, allowing the doctors to close the wounds (with blue thread and staples mind you).
So many small and large miracles have happened in my life in the last two weeks, I would be a fool to not see God's hand in all of them!
So, Thank you Heavenly Father. Thank you for saving my dad, for saving us money, for giving my family a chance to become closer together. Thank you for your eternal grace that allows me to repent and be forgiven of my sins.
I know that my Heavenly Father loves me, and that he is watching out for me and my family. I know that I can be with my family forever.
In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Update

Well, Dad is home now. No thanks to the rehab home he was in.
Homework is piling up, it is hard to get it done while being a mom. I think I underestimate my mom, and mothers everywhere! Especially mothers that are going to school! On the bright side, they all got to raise their kids from birth (unless they are adopted). Well, this is just a quick update.
Life is hard, but no one ever said it would be easy.
Castle is on.

Yes, The Impossible Really Does Happen

Friday my dad was in a motorcycle accident.
We thought we would be able to take him home the next day.
As it turned out he would have to stay in the hospital for at least 2 weeks with multiple surgeries.
Then he went into a surgery on Monday and as it turned out he had plenty of skin to cover his bone! Which is the entire reason he would have had to stay in the hospital, cause he didn't have enough skin on his leg!
Heavenly Father really is looking out for us. He is so wonderful, giving us only as much as we can handle, and then sometimes even taking that away!
I would like to thank everyone one who prayed for my family and who has helped us get through this tough time. We are not out of it yet, but we can see a light at the end of the tunnel.

Note to Self: Don't Drive Alone on an Unknown Road in the Dark After Watching A Scary Movie!

It is amazing the feeling that comes from suddenly realizing "hey, I know this song!"

Red Riding Hood, while a good movie, (other than the scenes that ARE NOT meant to be shown to public) was SCARY! Man, There is a reason I do not watch scary movies, and that is why!

It is time to take charge of my life. Seeing as God gave it to me so that I could make something out of it, not just pretend that I don't have to do anything.

First things first, I need to take at least 5 tests.  I need to plan for those and work them out. Study them and ace them.

Then I need to start making some more friends, though I am not sure how to go about doing that. I have never had to try to make friends before, it just sort of happened. 

Well, better late than never. 

Life is scary. 

There is not much to do about it.

Just live it and do the best I can.

All the While trying to do better. 

Every angle tries to pull me down.
One angle helps me back up.

Even when I cling to a hand, 

another grabs my wrist.

I shake it off, but not always...

I squirm away from darkness,

I reach up for the light.

SCUM

I love when I get my homework done. It feels so amazing.
It is much easier to do my homework when I actually have fun doing it, such as when it is art!
Now I have the rest of the day to do what ever I want. But I still have things I should do, like chores, piano, vacuum my room, maybe even eat the rest of my birthday cake....mmmmmmmm.
Well, nothing new to report. Just cousins coming over. I love cousins. And their friends.
And I love Scum! Such a fun game! Here's how to play!
Just enjoy. Ok? enjoy

My Life is a Gift

Trying to start studying is the hardest part of actually studying.
I have to put everything aside, and work on just the thing I need to, even though BOOK I really would rather PHONE!do other things like FACEBOOK take a nap or even BLOG do the dishes.
There are so many things I would rather be doing other than homework, but when I actually buckle down and do it I feel so much better about myself. Maybe I should just take baby steps, and start with typing my notes and then maybe I will get somewhere after that!
Well since I am already procrastinating.... I was thinking the other day. ("a dangerous past-time!" "I know!" - Beauty and the Beast)
Any man I meet, could become the one. That boy at dance class could be the one I spend eternity with ( I don't think so, but hey you never know!) Or maybe that one kid that I saw at work once. God only knows.
That is why I have decided, unless I think I could marry someone, I do not want to be in a more than friends relationship at all. Dates are fine, and mostly for fun and getting to know people better anyway, but to have a boyfriend is a rather large commitment and I do not want to break anyone's heart if I don't have to. (Though my mom does often tell me that boys can't help but fall in love with me.... :)

Sometimes it feels like life and love is all a big game of chance, and if I end up with the one I should will only happen if I get all 6's.
But I know it is not.
"My life is a gift,
My Life has a plan,
My life has a purpose
in Heaven it began.
My choice was to come
To this lovely home on earth
And seek for God's light
To Direct me from Birth.

I will follow God's plan for me
Holding fast to his words and his love.
I will work
and I will pray
I will always walk in his way
And I will be happy on earth
And in my home above."

LDS Children's Songbook pg 164

Of Safety and Such

Piccaso face for Art class

I just can't get enough of how well this picture turned out! I really love it quite a lot!
Well today my room is clean. Beautiful and clean. I love it! I cleaned my sheets, did my homework, watched the first half of My Fair Lady, got bored, turned it off. Clay came over, nearly died because my brothers were smoothering him. Finished my homework, did some dishes, now I am ready to watch People Will Talk with Cary Grant.
I have seen it once before, and it is nearly as good, if not as good, as the Happiest Millionaire.
Old movies are the best.
They don't have and of the nasty things today's movies do. I feel very safe when I watch a black and white movie.
I also feel safe when I am warm, when I am in my bed, when I get a hug from my mom after a long day. There is nothing like being safe.
And when you are safe, then you are able to progress up the triangle.
I have been using this triangle quite a bit in my child guidance class. And It makes a lot of sense to me as well.
Child Guidance (though I hate going, simply because I would like be asleep) is my favorite class. I love learning about how to keep yourself moving, how to help myself be better so that I can help my children and my students some day.

A Happy Story

Sometimes is it the little things that make the day a good one. (actually, that is most of the time)

For instance. Here is Eaven, out of high school two years, not a single date.

And over here is Dale who is a wonderful man preparing for his mission.

Working together is fun and they like to be in each other's company.

Once they watched a movie together calling it a "party."

And so Dale says he would like to have another party, and Eaven jumps on the idea and invites everyone she can see!
Then Eaven and Dale are texting, trying to figure out what movie to watch at this party that is going to be so cool. But Eaven gets tired.
"I am going to take a nap now, but I will be back in about a 1/2 hour."
"Make sure you are cause I have something important to ask you."

A smile spread across Eaven's face as she drifts to sleep.

A half an hour later Eaven texts Dale again, and he probes her with questions.
"Do you work on this day?"
"are you doing anything after this time?"
Then the messages stop for a few minutes and Eaven feels dread. He is going to text her and ask her on a date. She would say yes, she would like to go with him, but asking her out over a text? Really?

But her fears are unfounded. Her phone rings and the caller is "Dale"
"I hear it on good authority that you don't work this day and are free after this time." He says.
Eaven smiles. "You must have a great source because they are correct."
"Well, If that is the case would you like to go on a date with me?"

Screaming Cold

When the temperatures drop, my voice raises.
I scream when I get into a cold car.
It is just what I do.

When Stats is way to fast, I scramble to write.
I figure it out in my head.
It is just what I do.

When my pencil creates something other than what I pictured, I frustrate.
I alter and beautify.
It is just what I do.

When tomorrow morning looms, I pay no mind to the time.
I exhaust my already exhausted body.
It is just what I do.

When South turns to North

Ran for 45 minutes 39 seconds today (45:39)!
Once again covered in mud!
I am going to go longer and long until I can reach my goals!

I hate it when a good show goes south.
Say, you know how scientists say the poles of the earth flip every million years or so? Well if you don't know, read this and you will!
anyway, I was thinking we will have to say "don't you hate it when a good thing goes north" instead of south.
random thought but still a good one.

Update: I am getting better and better at making riceballs! I want to try some cool things to put in them, but I don't know what to do. I have used Tuna and mayonase, sausage, strawberries and semi-sweet chocolate (I DO NOT recommend this one), and hamburger.
But I need some that I could just leave out. i want to be able to stick it in a lunch box and eat it just how it is, and without it being cold. I do NOT like cold riceballs, or at least the tuna ones.

Keep Moving Forward

run thorough the mud? check!

Today has been... rather uneventful yet very fulling at the same time.
First, take the boys to school.
Then crochet and watch HTTYD
Continue crocheting and watch Speed Racer
Get off my lazy bum and run for 3 to 4 miles in the mud.


Let me make something clear right now. slipping and sliding while trying to run is much much harder than just running, even for 6 miles. But it is worth it!


When exercising  there are several obstacles to pass
1. When first starting, it feels like you can't do anything, trust me I know. It seems impossible that you will ever get to your first goal. Keep Moving Forward.
2. After you get over the aching muscles it seems like you aren't doing enough, because now you can't feel it anymore. Trust me, you are still getting strong. Keep Moving Forward.
3. Now you are stuck in a rut, you keep doing the same thing over and over and you are so bored you want to die. Shake it off.  Mix it up. Keep Moving Forward.
4. Your goal is in sight, but you can't seem to reach it. Keep Moving Forward.
5. AT LAST! You have reached your goal! Good Job! Keep Moving Forward.
6. Set a new goal for yourself. Keep Moving Forward.
But I have some bad news... for your new goal, you may be able to skip step 1.. but steps 2-6 must be repeated every day. Maybe this is to teach patience. Maybe this is to teach reliability. Maybe we are just learning how to use our stubborn natures. But what ever it is... Keep Moving Forward.