Running Confusion

My legs are so sore.
I took a break today, not wanting to get up to run before work.

Maybe I will be able to run
to the Great Salt Lake

My legs are feeling it from earlier this week!
Every time I bent down to pick something up I almost groaned.
Having sore muscles hurts so much, yet feels so good at the same time.

I was talking to Joe about running yesterday. I felt like I was interviewing someone for a paper.
I got to ask him bunches and bunches of questions, it was really helpful.

I wish I could run as far as I will be able to eventually.
My goal is to be able to run 42 miles. But by when? When should I be able to run that far? How do I come up with a training schedule? Should I even use one? I know that my body is able to run farther than my brain is able to run.
How do I work past the blocks I have put up in my mind? Do I work past them all at once? or should I move them slowly, build a door through the walls that are in my mind?
Do I need to throw out traditional thoughts on running? Should I experiment myself with everything I do? Should I get professional advice?
I am very confused about everything. I am reading things that are contrary to other things I have read. But I am also realizing that I am not as fit as some of the people who I have read about and, at this point in time, I do not have the ability to throw out all the rules. or maybe I do. I don't know.
There are many questions I still have and a lot of them I have to answer for myself, even though many people may have lots of answers for me. I am the only one who knows what I can do.

Sleeping = Good

Second post today.

Last night I could not fall asleep. I was lying awake in bed for an hour before I finally fell asleep, and once I did I had a dream about a guy I knew.

Then when I woke up and went running I felt so AMAZING!

I was running all over the house, and when it was time for work I was so happy. I went to work and did not even notice my feet hurting... until my running high ran out. Then I was so lethargic and in pain I could barely even function!

I guess getting up early after not getting enough sleep is not a very good combination.

These Feet Were Made for Running

Running this morning was amazing. Granted I did get a little spooked when something moved in the bushes as we walked up to the course. On our way back, it was a little lighter, and we saw that it was a cow. Man, when I am running cows should just stay away!

When I was in high school, I was running at a cross country meet. I was in my usual place, with the closest person maybe 20 yards ahead of me. I was going along, trying not to trip over rocks and such when I hear a menacing "MOOOOOOOOO!" Startled I looked up from the ground. Not three feet away was a cow and her calf. I nearly screamed, but luckily I was so out of breath that it didn't come out. I started sprinting forward. There was no way I was going to be alone on the trail with a cow. I ran faster and faster until I saw my friend just ahead of me. I breathed a labored sigh of relief. I started to drop back again, feeling safe. The cows would not come after me if there were two people! But then I realized, I had just pushed myself harder than ever, and for some bizarre reason... it had felt great!

That was the first time I had felt a joy of running. But it was certainly not the last!

My friend Renee came home from school, going on about how she could run again. I was fascinated, and so I started looking into it. Who would have though a love of running was contagious?

Tennis Shoes Have Failed Me

I ran barefoot the other day for about twenty minutes. Last time I ran barefoot (just around the block) my feet hurt for two days! So I figured that I would let my feet relish in the comfort of my old running shoes.

I have not worn my 'running' (tennis) shoes for about 3 months now. I just just been sticking to my Vibram 5 fingers, But then I stopped using those, because they give me blisters. I have been at a standstill, until I thought... "Hey, why not just go with out any shoes at all!" It is a rather marvelous idea.

Anyway, I wore my Tennis Shoes to work, and two hours in my feet were killing me! My arches ached, the supports in my shoes felt like they were digging into my feet and trying to

rip my tendons and bones and muscles apart from the inside! Eventually I got to go home and get my Converse, which (thankfully) have no support and are just flat. Even though my heels hurt because I am standing on them all day, it is much better than my arches.

Tomorrow my plans for the day include getting up early to run, with no shoes.

I want to build up the calluses on my feet, but I think it may be a little late in the year for that. Snow is coming soon and I am just trying to find a good pair of minimalistic shoes that will be good for the snow. So far I am coming up on a blank.

Any Ideas?

As my Vibram's give me blisters in four places, I am thinking of chucking those. As a result I

have been checking out other minimalistic shoes and have come across the RunAmoc from Soft Star. It seems to be everything I need. No toe pockets to restrict my toes and therefore no seams in my toe pockets to rub on my toes and give me blisters. They are moccasins for running. A wide toe bay for my toes to spread out, custom sizing for (as far as I can tell right now) the

same price, as well as custom colors.

I really want to buy them right now and just test them, but that is what I did with my Vibram's and now my feet hurt when I wear them. I need to do more research into what I am buying before I spend $80 more dollars on running shoes.

Nightmare

She stood in the doorway, her eyes wide in horror.

her mother's head hung from her father's hand, dripping with blood.

She shook her head her hand coming to her mouth.

A soft cackle came from her father's throat.

"Finally, it is mine!"

He held his hand up, a golden scyth gleaming with blood raised into the air.

Kerr couldn't hold it in anymore, she screamed.

He turned around suddenly, a soft smile spread across his evil blood spattered face.

"Come here my child." his long finger beckoned her near.

She shook her head taking a step back.

He lunged for her, but she found the strength to turn and run.

she scrambled down the hall, knocking things down behind her so he couldn't follow.

she reached the door, the guards leaping out of her way.

She ran past the gate, shutting it behind her and pulling the lock through to the outside and locked it.

Her father was chasing her, the scyth still in his hand, dripping with her mother's blood, thirsting for hers.

She ran away from the gate, falling down and scuttling back as her father hit the gate.

"Come back, Child!" he screamed.

she brought her legs under her and forced herself to keep running.

"I will get you! One day! I will get you!"

Kerr bolted up, nearly tumbling out of the tree she was in. Ilan was resting next to her, he lifted his muzzel to look at her. She rubbed between his ears.
"It was just a dream.. he is not here."

Ilan woofed quietly and settled his head in her lap.

Read and Think

what are you scared of?

I am scared of snakes

nightmares about snakes

pictures of snakes

and making decisions.

Why?

Why would making decisions make me scared?

Because then I am accountable?

Yeah probably.

I don't like opening important e-mails

I don't like to do homework

I don't like to do anything productive

I just feel like when I make an important decision, even just the decision to clean my room or do my homework is scary to me.

how weird.

another thing that is weird... putting my fears on the internet...

now everyone can read this.

anyone could read this and know what I am doing.

if they were talented they could see where I was when I wrote it. Maybe even what I was listening to.

But it seems as if I don't care at the moment.

Here you go world. Here is what I am scared of.

Please do with it what you will.

I give it to you to read, to get frustrated over, to cry over, to pity, to laugh, to yell, to relay any emotion you choose.

Think about what I have written.

It may not be eloquent or beautiful. It may be simple and quiet. But it is here. Read and think.