Just Do It.

Sometimes I can be obsessive.

Many of my friends have recognized this. And if they haven't, I guess they will.

Sometimes, I think it can be a good thing. If I want something done, that I want to do, I will do it. normally in just a few days.

But I don't like it.

I want to be able to pace myself, save things for later, cherrish what I have not.

I know I can do it. But for some reason, even though I want to, I don't want to at the same time.

When I start a book, I want to finish it. I want to finish it now. I want to know what happens.

When I start a show, I want to see what happens, I want to have it finished.

And in the middle of these obsessive bouts I think of what else I could be doing, of how I want to save it, of how I don't want to waste my life.

but what do I do?

Waste my life.

I am kind of scared to start something new because I know I won't do anything else.

but if I don't start new things what am I doing with my life.

Wasting it.

I am stuck between a Rock and a Hard Place.

Maybe I should ask for help.

Maybe I should start something and then ask someone to make me stop after so much time.... that could be good.

Maybe it would work.

When I do things obsessive I get mean. I treat my family rudely and I don't want to do anything til it is done.

I don't do anything.

I want to do something.

Something fun.

something not fun.

something I love

something I hate.

I want to do something new, something I have never done before and do it, whether I like it or not. I want to just do it.

The thing is, If I don't want to do it, I won't do it.

I have nothing to motivate myself. And if I give myself a reward I don't do it.

My birthday is on thursday.

that is my deadline.

For what?

Practicing.

Pacing myself.

Cooking.

Becoming a better person.

Doing the right thing.

Doing my homework.

Drawing.