VENTALATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sometimes when life gets hard you just need a friend.
Sometimes you don't have a friend.
Sometimes you wish you could just walk to someone and cry on their shoulder.
Sometimes you wish people would not make assumptions about you and try to tell you how to live your life because they know better. But actually all they know is what other people have told them or maybe they are basing their "advice" on things you said, but didn't really mean.
I always say, I need a man. I wish I had Lance. Where is a boy when you need one.
The truth is, I know I don't need one, well I do if I want to get to the celestial kingdom, which I do. But I don't need one now and I know that. I am in no hurry to get one, though I would not mind time speeding up a bit. I know I can't depend on other people for my happiness, I never have. Other people have affected my happiness, but they never control it! I know that boys are stupid and sometimes not worth my time. I know that my man will not be perfect and that things he does will bother me. I know that ..... I am mad. I have been for a while I only just realized it today though. I was driving and singing, then I sang quieter and quieter and then stopped. I came home exhausted and angry.
I hate it when someone thinks they know you based on what other people tell them. What they don't realize is that what that other person is telling them is only complaints, they never go to tell that person the good things because they don't need someone to vent to! They only go to complain because that is what they need right now and that person listens. So then that person thinks that they know you because someone else complains about all the stupid things you do. Well guess what!?!?!? That person only know about the stupid things you do! They don't know about all the amazing things you do or the kind things you do. They don't know that you don't try to be stupid. They just think you are because that is all they hear. Then they try to tell you how to live your life, and make you feel stupid at the same time. It makes you want to never be around that person and if you are around them you want them to be talking to someone else because you know that when they talk to you it will be as if they are talking to a 7 year old and not an 18 year old girl who is going to college in 4 months!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GAAAAAA

Close your eyes

Let the wind wash you free

slipping into the eternity

traveling to God

let him come to you

 

He is searching too, Let him come to you.

It's... ALIIIIVE!

I love it when my internet works! It make my life so much happier!!!! I wish it would work all the time!!!!!

So I am writing a story. It is going to be amazing. 

This is the basic outline

There is a birthstone for each month ( but we already knew that), and a power comes from each stone. There is one person born every three years in each month who gains the ability to use the power that comes  from the stone. On the 13th year or the stroke of midnight on new years eve there was a baby born witht he ablility to use a thirteenth stone.

So I have 13 character. They are from different places in the world. They all have a power. and they are all different ages. I am missing two names. and two last niames... dang it.. poop!!! oh well.

I am supposed to be stuying for the AP test. I really would love it if I didn't have to study. But I really need to!

This stuff is kind of confusing! I dont' knwo if I like it. 

But I really want to get a good grade on my test. at least a 4.. cause I thin that is passing. It is next week!

I just realized my science final is tomorrow!!!! POOOOOOOOOOOO

I got ten dollars today. I am glad because I need money. I need to save it though. dang and I need to pay for the rest of my AP test.

the Shadow of the Day will embrase the world in gray.

The sun will set for you.

The sun will set for me.

It will actually set for all of us.

In the metaphor of the day that means we die.

I dont' really know what to write about except that I LOVE V for VENDETTA!!!!! That is an amazing movie. I got it edited and now I love it! oh my goodness. I fyou have nto seen it find a way to see it! IT IS AMAZING!

I love this poem

LONG WHILE I SOUGHT....

Edmund Spenser

Long while I sought to what I might ocmpare

Those powerfull eyes, which lighten my dark spright,

yet find I nought on earth to which I dare

Resemble the' image of thier goodly light.

Not to the sun, for they do shine by night;

Nor to the moon, for they are changed never;

Nor to the stars, for they have purer sight;

Nor to the fire, for they consume not ever;

Nor to the lightning, for they still perserver;

Nor to the diamond, for they are more tender;

nor unto crystal, for nought may them sever;

Nor unto glass, such baseness might offend her;

Then to the Maker self they likest be,

Whose light doth lighten all that here we see.

That is a sonnet. I kind of want to write one and make it totally ridiculous about the moon being cheese or something like that.

I HATE computers!!!!! My stupid computer ...... ga!!!!
We move it upstairs and get wireless internet... then the internet does not work.
So we take it in to get fixed. and guess what?! IT STILL DOES NOT WORK!!!!!!!!!!!!
I tried everything ( i think) and it is so stupid!!!!!!!
I wanted to watch chuck last night and then I couldn't because my internet did notw ork. but... I went to my aunts house and watched...
I LOVE CHUCK!!!!!!!
Chuck is so amazing... oh my goodness...
"I know kung fu!" haha... oh man!

Once Upon a Dream

This is the cutest movie!!!!! On my goodness. 

Rachel and I are going to have an Enchanted Party and dress up like princesses

I don't really have anything to say right now except that I really wish that high School were over with and I had money for college!

Brandon Sanderson writes the best boys!

Faults and charm.... that is what makes the boys.

It also helps that you know what they are thinking and how they think about you.

*sigh* :D

Scheduled outage

I should have scheduled outages.... one every week, two hours every week, on wednesdays. 

That sounds good to me.

SO I am way confused about my housing for USU... but I will try and figure it out.

I Love ELEND!!!!!!

I WANT ONE!!!! 

It would be lovely to get a hankerchief... 

*Sigh...*

Elend, Raoden, ... the god king from warbreaker... *sigh....*

I'm Learning to Fall

"I'm Learning to Fall .... Into the Monsoon....


Impossible... A lovely night....

Why would a fella want, a girl like her.... -every step that I tak-e is another mistake to you...


every day at 8:11... a plain yellow pumpkin to becom-e a golden carrige.

With out you, my life woul-d suck.... every time we touch


and therefore, all evil is good... feeling insecure

for Goodness sake.... the-re is something new with you


Someday, my prince will come... good night my someone

Now I'm Head Over H-eels... now I heels over head


give, back to your destination... this used to be a secret

come and REscue me... Do it with a bing b-ang bong


I Won't Say I'm In Love... I'm burning can't you see?

Only You can set -me free.... The Great Escape


I dreamed I was missing...no one else cared

After my dreaming I woke and had a realization of Kane, he did not have a big afro, nor did he have a gold bula.. which I now -realize I was picturing Soren's van, not The big monster....

I've taken my beating... I'm strong on the surface, not all the way through.
That is true. I smil-e, I laugh. But I cry when no one is looking, I want to collapse.
Small things scare me, Big things frighten me.
Spiders and nothing compared to my homework tomorrow.
Papers are of the devil, only the ones that I have to support
Art is amazing. not many things t-op it.
Dance, reading, smiling, singing, writing, all do. You. do.

I'll see your n-ame in lights...It's Killing me!

homework is stupid. I can't wait until I never have homework again!!!!!!!!!


I believe in christ.... praise to t-he man

how great thou art.... jesus wants me for a sunbeam


we than-k thee oh God... I am a child of God

"The truth can never be defeated, Sarene, Even if people forget about it occationally."
Elantris

"I Want to b-e with you!"
sailor moon


"One can never have to ma-ny socks."
Dumbledore

Thoughts

Weddings. I am going to one today.

I am not pushing my life aside, waiting for my future. I know I must live my life now. I know that I have things to learn. I know that It will come. He will come. No matter what happens. we will find each other.
"Good night my someone
Good night my love
Sleep tight My someone
sleep tight my love
Our star is shining
it's brightest light so
good night my someone
good night!
They say true love
whispers from heart to heart
when lovers are parted they say
but I must depend on a wish and a star
As long as my heart doesn't know who you are.
good night my someone
good night my love
sleep tight my someone
sleep tight my love
our star is shining its brightest light
so good night my someone good night"

Sometimes i feel like a punching bag. and my life is throwing the punches.
I feel bad for those punching bags! man the abuse they get!

I have tried twice now and both times her head was way to big!!!! poop~! I wish I could just draw her.. maybe it is because I don't really know what I want her to look like...

Boys are stupid. well... Mary Poppins says it better than I do.
"Though we adore men individually we agree that as a group they are rather stupid."
That is how I feel.... but I do not have happy feelings to many boys at the moment. but there are a few. and stupid ******* let Soren down.. I ahve never met the guy but I want to punch his face in.

Soren, I did not really know how to help you feel better the other day... sorry about that. Maybe I will get better.

i feel so ignorant. sloppy. bored. lame....

I am happy, excited, lovely, wonderful, and all together rather well.

Treasa -- TREA!

This is Trea. I <3 her. She does not look to good here, but I will get some better pictures. loves!

Happiness is anyone and anything at all that's loved by you!

I feel so happy today. My ife is coming back together. Back from Vegas... Home with family. Spending time with friends. 

Life is good, Life is Great, Life is just a Bottle of Grapes!

I have not felt this good is so long! Everything is going right!

"for once in my life everything is going right." Now I just hope that jafar does not come and kidnap me and throw me off of a cliff into the ocean because I don't have a genie to save me!

Pictures of the Loves Of my Life

Here are some things that I love.

There is more but I can't figure out how to work the stupid flair board stuff... oh well!

Hypocricy

I feel so Hypocritical when I tell eveyrone, no boyfriends, no girl friends. But then I want one more than anything!

I would love to have someone I can barely stand a day without.

I would love to have someone who I can cuddle with.

I would love to have someone who can mkae me want to be better.

I would love to have someone who loves God more than me.

I would love to have someone who will watch Sailor Moon with me and pretend it is not cheesy just for me.

I would love to have someone I love more than my own life.

I would love to have someone who studies scriptures with me.

I would love to have someone who calls me after we have had a fight and appologizes then sends me flowers, and times them so they happen at the same time.

I would love to have someone who expects me to do silly romantic things like throw a party for just him when he gets off of work.

I would love to have someone who I can say I love you to and know he will say it right back.

I would love to have someone who will kiss me infront of his friends.

I would love to have someone who will hold my hand.

I would love to have someone who will kiss me goodnight in front of my parents.(yes mom, in front of you.)

I would love to have someone... with many more qualitys than I can think of.

But I don't. And I have not yet found anyone who fits any of those criteria.... and therefore I am decidedly lonely until college... there everything changes. :D

Is this picture not so cute?! I really want to do this one day...:D anyway... I am done wish I had a love life...

Try to smile... please

I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought I was being strong. 

I still am... I know that some things are hard. I know that things have to change.

I also know that the things we sometimes think are impossible, are only improbable....

Change is hard. 

Change hurts.

Change is like a bag a dirt.

Totally pointless, 

just getting things dirty,

until one day

after you realize the grity

was really just there to help you

all you really need to do

is plant a seed.

I belive I can make this work out for the better.

I can make a new friend out of the one that was lost. But first I need time. Time to adjust to being lonesome. Time to adjust to being sad. I need my dear friend, who has always been with me, yet at the moment hes actions say he doesn't need me. He trys to talk, to pressure with words, yet his actions speak louder than those words. I walk by, he says hi, I try not to cry, for I see how he loves her so, and i understand so completely, because I know. But I also know he will be hurt, and then he will feel like dirt. There are ways, to just be friends, and maybe just wait a few months until high school ends. These words hurt, but they weren't meant that way. I still love him, even when I tell him I can't do this anymore. Now I am weak, not strong like I was, I need friends who can stand for what they want, even when it seems like the harder thing to do, because in reality it is, but it is also the right way to go. As our beloved leader has said "It is always the right time to walk in his way... and it is never to late." -Deiter F. Uckdorf. Actions that say "I am willing to talk, only when you give me the time of day", and "there is no way I am going to push or try to chase. " or maybe " I see you here now, yet I am doing something else." "I will write you a note, but I won't talk to your face." "I will wait for you to tell me, before I make a move." If there were a reason for me to chase you far, I would chase you to a star. But right now, I dont' have the strength, I have been hurt to may times, and nearly gone to waste. I tried for a while, to hang on by a thread, but all the wear turned me down instead. I fell from the blanket, and onto the ground. 

I have forgiven, I have always loved. But it is time for change. 

Challange + Change = Grow

Be of Good Cheer.

-God is with you

-Where'ere you go

-God is with you

-and he loves you so

Be of Good Cheer

"Turn Discouragement into Joy and Gratitude." - Barbara Thompson

"I will not leave you comfortless" 

"God never flee's or fails us." - Jeffery R. Holland

"Turn our thoughts away fromthe troubles arround us, but to our blessings." -President Monson

"Men are that they might have joy." - President Monson

"Get down on your nees and pray." -President Monson

"Fear not, be of good cheer, the future is as bright as your faith." - President Thomas S. Monson.

"Nothing except god can make one happy." - Dallin H. Oaks

Smile

It is funny the things that make you feel better.

I was just reading the BFG to my brothers.

"The BFG looked at Sophie and smiled, showing about twenty of his square white teeth. 'Yesterday,' he said, 'we was not believing in giants, was we? Today we is not believing in snozzcumbers. Just because we happen not to have actually seen something with out own two littel winkles, we think it is not existing. What about for instance the great squizzly scotch-hopper?'

 'I beg your pardon?' Sophie said. 

'And the humplecrimp?' 

'What's that?' Sophie said.

 'And the wraprascal?' 

'The what?' Sophie said.

 'And crumpscoddle?' 'Are they animals?'

 'They is common animals,' said the BFG contemptuously. 'I is not a very know-all giant myself, but it seems to me that you is an absolutely know-nothing human bean. Your brain is full of rotton-wool.'"

Things like that make me smile. :D

Empty

This is supposed to be the time of my life....
then why do I feel empty?
This is supposed to be fun...
Then why do I feel empty?
This is supposed to be amazing!
Then why do I feel empty?

i feel like I had a puzzel of my life with only a few peices missing, but then I dropped it and now the pieces are EVERYWHERE. I don't know where to start looking and some how my 500 peice puzzle has transformed itself into a 10,000 peice puzzle.
The life I had is gone away
The life I have is here to stay
Change is good
is the same better?
My day forgotten by the one I thought loved me
My heart broken, twice, by the friend I thought I had.
Change is good
is the same better?
I smile to know that God is there
He is the only one I feel that cares
Change is good
is the same better?
He sent me a friend
One who can talk, play, and write.
Change is good
is the same better?
Now I realize, my life of shatters
Is not really all that matters
Change is good
But God is better.

I feel as if everything I have know is changing and I don't know how to handle it. I think back to the blessing I had about my friends and how I will have friends without number... well that time certainly is not now. Soren, Emily, my mom, Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ... That is about it at the moment.

I hope for more friends in college. For now I am content with the few I have.

Despiration

Living in an imperfect world
One cannot expect things to go as planned
Life messes it up.
Shtick happens.

About the only good thing in my life at the moment is Soren. She makes me so happy! Every time I see her, talk to her, walk with her. There is so much I have bottled up inside, and I can't let it out.

A friend deserted.
A Friend detested.
A life abhorent
A life devine
Why is it I cannot find mine?

A brain Churning
A stomach turning
An eye to see
A nose to smell
Why is it they betray me?

Stinging
Burning
Poison
Seeping
Why do they combine?

What will happen? Why does it happen? When will I understand? Where is he!
I need him more than ever, good thing God is on my side.

Good thing She moved here,
She brightens my day, even with a frown.
The life I live, the World I'm from,
they all are a bit more friendly when she is around.
-for Soren

Impending Doom

The restoration of the death penalty. I never paid much attention to those words. I wish I had listened in my history class. Maybe I would be able to use something from it now.
Tomorrow, by firing squad, I die.

Sitting in my cell, I try not to imagine how it will be. But I can’t help it. I have always had an overactive imagination in times of stress.
I am standing in front of a brown wall; I try not to think that it might have once been white.
A whistle sounds. A drum rolls. Soldiers march in before me. I try to be brave, to stand strong and not show fear, but that is when I see him. Devon, standing right in front of me, pointing a gun at my chest. His eyes are cold, merciless. I will him to drop the gun and run to me, but if he has not done it yet, why would he now when the end is so near?
“I love you!” I scream, as a magnitude of bullets come rushing toward me, everything slows down as if my senses have suddenly become hyperactive. I see the individual bullets race toward me, I see Devon turn his back to me.
I always stop before it happens. I try to keep Devon out of it, but I can’t.

I saw him when I was brought here. I screamed for him to save me, look at me, acknowledge me. Anything. He just turned and walked away from me, like I was not even there.
To save myself from the pain of thinking about him, I go back to imagining how it will be.

The drumming of the soldier’s feet wakes me as they march down the hall, each of them bang on my door as they pass. Morning. I can tell by the interrupted light seeping under my cell door.
A soldier storms in and yanks me from the floor by my arm. He pulls my arms behind my back and handcuff the together at my wrists. He grabs my elbow and tows me out of my cell and up some stairs. We exit the building by a door that leads to the joyful sun that is shining down on my impeding doom.
My imaginings were wrong. The wall has been scrubbed white. The soldier stops me and positions me near the center of the wall and walks away, leaving me alone for a moment. I steal myself. I will not show fear. I think of the freedom the sky represents, the grave represents, and a calm spreads over me, enveloping me in a refreshing comfort. I smile at the sky, glad I will die beneath such beauty, and not enclosed in a dark cell devoid of life and color.
A whistle sounds. A drum rolls. The soldiers come marching in.
A tear rolls down my face. Devon is in the front row of soldiers. They stop and turn toward me. He hoists his gun to his shoulder, aiming for my heart.
“Ali Sims, you have been charged with attempted assassination, manslaughter, and fraud. The penalty of these crimes is death. May God have mercy on your soul.” The man stepped down from the podium, taking the deceitful paper with him.
I gaze at the soldiers once again. My heart soars. Devon has tears in his eyes. He knows. He cares. I stare straight into his eyes trying to convey my love for him. His gun clatters to the ground, and suddenly I am in his arms.
His face is buried in my hair. “ I love you.” He whimpers. “Please… please forgive me!” He sobs on my shoulder.
I long to comfort him, tell him there is nothing to forgive. But my voice won’t work and my arms hang uselessly behind my back.
“Soldier! Back in ranks! The execution is set.”
Devon puts his arm around my waist then he turns to his sergeant. “ This woman is innocent. She has committed none of these crimes.”
“The court has ruled. Death is inevitable. We shoot in 10 seconds. 10…9….”Devon turns to hold me once again. “I am sorry Ali. I love you, more than life.
I smile sadly up at him. “I love you, Devon.” I fervently whisper in his ear. He lifts my chin and kisses me gently on the lips.
“Two…One…FIRE!”

Loves of my Life

Lance.
Tuxedo Mask.
Spader.
Elantris.
-Raoden
Sirius Black.
Transformers.
Superman.
Ian I'Shea.
James Potter.
Remus Lupin.
Lily Evans.
Sailor Moon.
Sailor Jupiter.
Will Smith.
Sean Conery.
Cary Grant.
Aida.
Rademes.
Captain Awesome.
Carslile (movie).
Hadley Spivy.
Artemis Fowl.
Holly Short.
Butler.
Kelsier.
Vin.
Elend.
Apollus.
Marcos.
Hugh Jackman.
Gambit.
Cyclops.
Jean Grey/Phoenix.
James Marsden.
Harrison Ford.
Anakin.
Obi Wan Kenobi.
Vigo Mortensen.
Sandra Bullock.
Audry Hepburn.
"For the love of eliza"
Micheal Cain.
Hercules.
Prince Phillip.
Nemo.
Heath Ledger.
Harry Potter.
Ginny Weasley.
Dustin Hoffman.
Peter Pan.
Wesley (princess Bride).
Sean Austin.
Legolas (not orlando bloom).
Gimli (and the actor...).
Tanner as Edward.
Peace Lily's.
Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Ice Cream.
I think That is enough for now... much more than Tyler's list. :D